April Post:
Medieval Nobility and Marriage
In last month’s post, I wrote about romance and chivalric love. This month I thought I would continue with a post about marriage. As you know, girls had very little say over their lives. Parents, overlords, or the king, had ultimate say over who they would be given to in marriage.
From an early age children in medieval society understood that their marriage would be arranged. Girls were not allowed to choose who they would marry but on occasion men were. Typically, girls would meet their betrothed only a short period of time before the wedding.
Upper society marriages were usually performed out of necessity, not love. The marriage was sometimes pre-arranged when children were still very small. It was about making a good match, with another affluent family, to ensure property, land, and wealth, and the continuance of the male blood line.
Orphaned girls of nobility were placed under the wardship of a lord or king. Wardship rights allowed for the lord or king to give the girls inheritance or lands to a man of their choosing, thereby controlling and increasing their influence and revenue.
Before 1100AD most marriages did not include a religious ceremony. Even though marriage was generally arranged, all that was required for those going against the parents’ wishes was consent, a kiss, and consummation. In fact, they could say I do, just about anywhere, even as they climbed into bed. However, proving they were married was rather difficult. So, in the twelfth century the Roman Catholic church formally defined marriage as a sacrament, sanctioned by God.
To announce the wedding, a notice was placed on the front door of the church. This was done for two reasons, to announce the upcoming ceremony and to allow time for any impediments to be disputed. Banns had to be read three times to declare the intent to marry.
On the wedding day the couple would meet the priest outside at the door of the church. The bride and groom would stand beside each other facing the door. The bride had to stand on the left because of the belief that Eve was created out of Adam’s left rib. The couple would be asked if they were of age. Christians were allowed to marry from the age of puberty, 12 for girls and 14 for boys. They would be asked if they were related in any way, for example did they share great- grandparents? The dowry would then be read. The groom might present his bride with a small bag of coins to distribute to the needy, who had come to watch the marriage. The couple would exchange vows and a ring given. Once the couple was married, they would be led into the church for the nuptial mass.
Although the church did not require parental consent, families still had a great deal of influence over the choice and approval of the marriage partner. It was also expected that couples would get permission from their lord. Marriage outside ones social class was frowned upon.
Parental consent was not required until a law was passed in England in the 18th century. Scotland however kept the old ways and so Gretna Green, which was just across the Scottish border, became a popular place for couples to wed, if they did not have their parents’ consent.
Blushing bride’s and embarrassed bridegroom’s, had to submit to the act of bedding.
The bedding ceremony was the act of putting a newlywed couple together in the marital bed before numerous witnesses, usually their family, friends, and neighbors. In England the ceremony often began with a priest blessing the bed. The purpose of the ritual was to establish consummation of the marriage, without which the union could be annulled. The gathering of witnesses would stay to watch the couple’s first sexual intercourse, with many ribald jokes. Sometimes the act was symbolic and the couple would be left alone to consummate the marriage. The virginity test was the evidence of blood on the bridal sheets. This sheet would either be displayed or if necessary, given to the bridegroom’s parents as evidence of the girl’s virginity. This was particularly important in patrilineal societies, and legitimacy was essential if a child was to be accepted as a rightful heir.
Recommended book: Novel “The Unveiling by Tamara Leigh”
This will be my last post for the time being as I turn my writing energy towards book three and four, both only in the early stages of creation.
You can contact me through my website. HTTP://STORYTELLER.SPACE or email at: marilyn@storyteller.space
Marilyn